Tuesday, December 22, 2020

2020 vision...


 I like to write. I write a lot, actually. I write in lots of places from scraps of paper around the house, emails and messages to friends, occasional blog posts, social media posts from both my personal and professional accounts, articles, books and parts of books, and on the whiteboard in my downstairs hallway. As much as I like to write, I hate to write two things: Christmas letters and New Year’s Resolutions.


I never really know what to tell people about the previous year, especially this year. With no travel for conferences or speaking or pilgrimages and the world retreating to the walls of our homes, I think I am not alone in saying that I feel like I accomplished less this year. You might have seen that funny Facebook post that is supposed to be photos of all the places a person traveled this year but it looks like a series of gray images that failed to load. It feels like the whole year failed to load and we sat back and watched the swirling loading image spin endlessly while we waited for life to begin.


This is not really accurate because there was a lot of life that happened in the last year, a shocking amount of life. I think it does the “past us” an injustice to fail to recognize that just because it wasn’t a cute series of Instagrammable moments. I can’t know for sure what you were doing but I know that I was treading water and trying to check in on my loved ones (my husband, my kids, my extended family, my parishioners, and just everyone) because I wanted to know that they were still out there, fighting and not drowning. Not drowning is not a measurable thing. I can’t say I have x number of this or y number of that. All I can say is that I am here and so are most all of the people I was checking in on.


I know people who really, really struggled this last year and it was all virus-related even if they did not actually test positive at any time. We live in a world broken by sin and its effects radiated outward through time and space. Right now, we all live in a world broken by the effects of something else that also reaches out, like sin,  and we all suffered. Understanding what that means in terms of my yearly reflections is hard.


Usually, I encourage people to post on my social media and tell me about something that they were proud of themselves for accomplishing. I do this because new year’s resolutions are often hurtful and focus on the broken pieces of ourselves and not on what we have actually accomplished. This year, I felt like accomplishments are hard to think about in my own life and rather than think too hard on that, I asked people to tell me about something joyful. I noticed a couple of things. Firstly, I noticed that I failed to see what I accomplished because I didn’t bother to think about it. Secondly, I noticed that significantly fewer people commented than usual. It could be an algorithm thing. It could be that people were less interested in my social media at that time. It could be that people just weren’t interested in me. It also could be that people are having a hard time thinking about joyful things. It is a really hard time to reflect on, to feel out. It’s like running our hands over the swollen bumps and bruises of a year that took a bad beating. 


The amazing publicist at Ancient Faith, Melinda Johnson, asked content providers to give her a couple of sentences about their year for the annual Christmas letter. I was not really happy about it because I didn’t think I had anything to say but it was ultimately a good thing. It made me realize that I do have an accomplishment because I managed to keep my head above water and toss out love and support like lifeboats in every direction possible.


My goal this year has been a small one, a manageable one, but it really was to keep telling people that I love them and that we are gonna make it through. That’s it. I wanted to tell people that they mattered, that their feelings were real, that they are worth loving, that they need to be patient with themselves, and that I am still out there and loving them hard despite the fact that we are separated by miles. I just felt like if I could let one person know they were loved, then I would have done at least one good thing this year. 


I cannot measure that goal or quantify it or pull it out and show it to you. It is not an accomplishment in the same way that an award or a finished manuscript or some shiny object which demonstrates concretely some abstract win. This year, I only have the abstract because the concrete has escaped me. I think that’s okay because the normal measures of any year are not applicable to this year because this year is unlike any of my whole life. All I can say is that I did try. I tried a lot. Sometimes I tried more and though I sometimes tried less, the success of this year is to be found in the fact that I tried.


What did I actually try to do? A lot, now that I think about it. This year, I took a lot of walks. This year, I ate a lot of food. Sometimes it was a struggle bus based on whatever was available but I ate. This year, I told more people “I love you” on a daily basis than I think I ever have. This year, I totally impulse-bought another cow and I freaking love Octavia so much. This year, I let my kids’ school look a lot more like novels and boardgames and long walks in the woods. This year, I watched over the internet as a book that I worked on cooperatively took shape and ended up being EXACTLY what the world needed because we all need a retreat and can’t have one. I wrote deeply emotionally and exposed my vulnerability more fully in my farm memoir than I imagined possible.  This year, I remotely worked on a conference that was a remote conference and a ton of women showed up and we accomplished some real connection in a virtual world.


This year, I can only say that I tried. I tried pretty hard. This year, I accomplished so little but that ended up being a lot of work and it was worth every minute of it. This year was good.

Friday, November 27, 2020

Old Calendar Nativity Group for Nativity 2020

The 150 Psalms are divided into twenty Kathismas and each one is further divided into three stasis though not all publications will show this breakdown. They are divided up and assigned to different days of the week so that between all the monastic services over the course of that week, the whole Psalter is read. Years ago, Sylvia at Orthodoxmom.com began organizing a New Calendar scheduled practice of reading the Psalter for the Nativity Fast with the goal of having the entire Psalter read on a daily basis. I think this is amazing and I participated for years even though I am on Old Calendar, I just continued with my cycle.


Last year, I organized an Old Calendar schedule for the Psalter and I was so grateful for everyone who participated. I knew I wanted to do it again this year, even before I started getting messages. Because I wanted to make this as easy for people as possible so more people could participate and could start whenever they can, I am assigning groups based on the alphabet. You don’t need me to sign you up, you just need to open your Psalter! I know that I would love to pray for you so it would be great if you just list your baptismal name below but if you don’t, that is fine, too. If you are not Orthodox or come from a tradition without baptismal names, that’s fine, I still want to pray for you. Just know that it is not an obligation to list your name below. If you have a specific need you would like prayed for, you can list it or message it to me. You can be discreet with private intentions and just list them as a private need. I will take that list and regularly update a Google Doc with everyone’s names and needs and you can access it.


I can’t think of a year when I felt more dependant on God than this one so I am leaning hard into prayer. Let’s do this! Want to print the schedule? Click HERE!


Welcome to the Psalter Group! Find your initial and start with the Kathisma according to the group you are in . There is a schedule
for all groups just below. If you know someone who wants to pray with us this fast, please let them know that they can start at anytime!
You can use any Psalter or a Bible with the Psalms, whatever you happen to have. Follow the link to see how the Psalter is organized.
Group One
Names that Begin with A
Group Two
Names that Begin with B
Group Three
Names that Begin with C
Group Four
Names that Begin with D
Group Five
Names that Begin with E
Group Six
Names that Begin with F
Group Seven
Names that Begin with G
Group Eight
Names that Begin with H
Group Nine
Names that Begin with I
Group Ten
Names that Begin with J
Group Eleven
Names that Begin with K
Group Twelve
Names that Begin with L
Group Thirteen
Names that Begin with M
Group Fourteen
Names that Begin with N
Group Fifteen
Names that Begin with O
Group Sixteen
Names that Begin with P
Group Seventeen
Names that Begin with Q or R
Group Eighteen
Names that Begin with S or T
Group Nineteen
Names that Begin with U, V, or W
Group Twenty
Names that Begin with X, Y, or Z
Group One
Names that Begin with A
SaturdaySundayMondayTuesdayWednesdayThursdayFriday
11/28-12/41234567
12/5-12/11891011121314
12/12-12/181516171819201
12/19-12-252345678
12/26-1/19101112131415
1/2-1/61617181920Nativity
Group Two
Names that Begin with B
SaturdaySundayMondayTuesdayWednesdayThursdayFriday
11/28-12/42345678
12/5-12/119101112131415
12/12-12/18161718192012
12/19-12-253456789
12/26-1/110111213141516
1/2-1/6171819201Nativity
Group Three
Names that Begin with C
SaturdaySundayMondayTuesdayWednesdayThursdayFriday
11/28-12/43456789
12/5-12/1110111213141516
12/12-12/1817181920123
12/19-12-2545678910
12/26-1/111121314151617
1/2-1/618192012Nativity
Group Four
Names that Begin with D
SaturdaySundayMondayTuesdayWednesdayThursdayFriday
11/28-12/445678910
12/5-12/1111121314151617
12/12-12/181819201234
12/19-12-25567891011
12/26-1/112131415161718
1/2-1/61920123Nativity
Group Five
Names that Begin with E
SaturdaySundayMondayTuesdayWednesdayThursdayFriday
11/28-12/4567891011
12/5-12/1112131415161718
12/12-12/18192012345
12/19-12-256789101112
12/26-1/113141516171819
1/2-1/6201234Nativity
Group Six
Names that Begin with F
SaturdaySundayMondayTuesdayWednesdayThursdayFriday
11/28-12/46789101112
12/5-12/1113141516171819
12/12-12/1820123456
12/19-12-2578910111213
12/26-1/114151617181920
1/2-1/612345Nativity
Group Seven
Names that Begin with G
SaturdaySundayMondayTuesdayWednesdayThursdayFriday
11/28-12/478910111213
12/5-12/1114151617181920
12/12-12/181234567
12/19-12-25891011121314
12/26-1/11516171819201
1/2-1/623456Nativity
Group Eight
Names that Begin with H
SaturdaySundayMondayTuesdayWednesdayThursdayFriday
11/28-12/4891011121314
12/5-12/111516171819201
12/12-12/182345678
12/19-12-259101112131415
12/26-1/1161718192012
1/2-1/634567Nativity
Group Nine
Names that Begin with I
SaturdaySundayMondayTuesdayWednesdayThursdayFriday
11/28-12/49101112131415
12/5-12/11161718192012
12/12-12/183456789
12/19-12-2510111213141516
12/26-1/117181920123
1/2-1/645678Nativity
Group Ten
Names that Begin with J
SaturdaySundayMondayTuesdayWednesdayThursdayFriday
11/28-12/410111213141516
12/5-12/1117181920123
12/12-12/1845678910
12/19-12-2511121314151617
12/26-1/11819201234
1/2-1/656789Nativity
Group Eleven
Names that Begin with K
SaturdaySundayMondayTuesdayWednesdayThursdayFriday
11/28-12/411121314151617
12/5-12/111819201234
12/12-12/18567891011
12/19-12-2512131415161718
12/26-1/1192012345
1/2-1/6678910Nativity
Group Twelve
Names that Begin with L
SaturdaySundayMondayTuesdayWednesdayThursdayFriday
11/28-12/412131415161718
12/5-12/11192012345
12/12-12/186789101112
12/19-12-2513141516171819
12/26-1/120123456
1/2-1/67891011Nativity
Group Thirteen
Names that Begin with M
SaturdaySundayMondayTuesdayWednesdayThursdayFriday
11/28-12/413141516171819
12/5-12/1120123456
12/12-12/1878910111213
12/19-12-2514151617181920
12/26-1/11234567
1/2-1/689101112Nativity
Group Fourteen
Names that Begin with N
SaturdaySundayMondayTuesdayWednesdayThursdayFriday
11/28-12/414151617181920
12/5-12/111234567
12/12-12/18891011121314
12/19-12-251516171819201
12/26-1/12345678
1/2-1/6910111213Nativity
Group Fifteen
Names that Begin with O
SaturdaySundayMondayTuesdayWednesdayThursdayFriday
11/28-12/41516171819201
12/5-12/112345678
12/12-12/189101112131415
12/19-12-25161718192012
12/26-1/13456789
1/2-1/61011121314Nativity
Group Sixteen
Names that Begin with P
SaturdaySundayMondayTuesdayWednesdayThursdayFriday
11/28-12/4161718192012
12/5-12/113456789
12/12-12/1810111213141516
12/19-12-2517181920123
12/26-1/145678910
1/2-1/61112131415Nativity
Group Seventeen
Names that Begin with Q or R
SaturdaySundayMondayTuesdayWednesdayThursdayFriday
11/28-12/417181920123
12/5-12/1145678910
12/12-12/1811121314151617
12/19-12-251819201234
12/26-1/1567891011
1/2-1/61213141516Nativity
Group Eighteen
Names that Begin with S or T
SaturdaySundayMondayTuesdayWednesdayThursdayFriday
11/28-12/41819201234
12/5-12/11567891011
12/12-12/1812131415161718
12/19-12-25192012345
12/26-1/16789101112
1/2-1/61314151617Nativity
Group Nineteen
Names that Begin with U, V, or W
SaturdaySundayMondayTuesdayWednesdayThursdayFriday
11/28-12/4192012345
12/5-12/116789101112
12/12-12/1813141516171819
12/19-12-2520123456
12/26-1/178910111213
1/2-1/61415161718Nativity
Group Twenty
Names that Begin with X, Y, or Z
SaturdaySundayMondayTuesdayWednesdayThursdayFriday
11/28-12/420123456
12/5-12/1178910111213
12/12-12/1814151617181920
12/19-12-251234567
12/26-1/1891011121314
1/2-1/61516171819Nativity