It’s the morning after. All the days now will be the days after, yesterday morning permanently marking the place that neatly divides the time with him and the time after him.
Wednesday, December 1, 2021
Tears like wine...
It’s the morning after. All the days now will be the days after, yesterday morning permanently marking the place that neatly divides the time with him and the time after him.
Tuesday, December 22, 2020
2020 vision...
I like to write. I write a lot, actually. I write in lots of places from scraps of paper around the house, emails and messages to friends, occasional blog posts, social media posts from both my personal and professional accounts, articles, books and parts of books, and on the whiteboard in my downstairs hallway. As much as I like to write, I hate to write two things: Christmas letters and New Year’s Resolutions.
I never really know what to tell people about the previous year, especially this year. With no travel for conferences or speaking or pilgrimages and the world retreating to the walls of our homes, I think I am not alone in saying that I feel like I accomplished less this year. You might have seen that funny Facebook post that is supposed to be photos of all the places a person traveled this year but it looks like a series of gray images that failed to load. It feels like the whole year failed to load and we sat back and watched the swirling loading image spin endlessly while we waited for life to begin.
This is not really accurate because there was a lot of life that happened in the last year, a shocking amount of life. I think it does the “past us” an injustice to fail to recognize that just because it wasn’t a cute series of Instagrammable moments. I can’t know for sure what you were doing but I know that I was treading water and trying to check in on my loved ones (my husband, my kids, my extended family, my parishioners, and just everyone) because I wanted to know that they were still out there, fighting and not drowning. Not drowning is not a measurable thing. I can’t say I have x number of this or y number of that. All I can say is that I am here and so are most all of the people I was checking in on.
I know people who really, really struggled this last year and it was all virus-related even if they did not actually test positive at any time. We live in a world broken by sin and its effects radiated outward through time and space. Right now, we all live in a world broken by the effects of something else that also reaches out, like sin, and we all suffered. Understanding what that means in terms of my yearly reflections is hard.
Usually, I encourage people to post on my social media and tell me about something that they were proud of themselves for accomplishing. I do this because new year’s resolutions are often hurtful and focus on the broken pieces of ourselves and not on what we have actually accomplished. This year, I felt like accomplishments are hard to think about in my own life and rather than think too hard on that, I asked people to tell me about something joyful. I noticed a couple of things. Firstly, I noticed that I failed to see what I accomplished because I didn’t bother to think about it. Secondly, I noticed that significantly fewer people commented than usual. It could be an algorithm thing. It could be that people were less interested in my social media at that time. It could be that people just weren’t interested in me. It also could be that people are having a hard time thinking about joyful things. It is a really hard time to reflect on, to feel out. It’s like running our hands over the swollen bumps and bruises of a year that took a bad beating.
The amazing publicist at Ancient Faith, Melinda Johnson, asked content providers to give her a couple of sentences about their year for the annual Christmas letter. I was not really happy about it because I didn’t think I had anything to say but it was ultimately a good thing. It made me realize that I do have an accomplishment because I managed to keep my head above water and toss out love and support like lifeboats in every direction possible.
My goal this year has been a small one, a manageable one, but it really was to keep telling people that I love them and that we are gonna make it through. That’s it. I wanted to tell people that they mattered, that their feelings were real, that they are worth loving, that they need to be patient with themselves, and that I am still out there and loving them hard despite the fact that we are separated by miles. I just felt like if I could let one person know they were loved, then I would have done at least one good thing this year.
I cannot measure that goal or quantify it or pull it out and show it to you. It is not an accomplishment in the same way that an award or a finished manuscript or some shiny object which demonstrates concretely some abstract win. This year, I only have the abstract because the concrete has escaped me. I think that’s okay because the normal measures of any year are not applicable to this year because this year is unlike any of my whole life. All I can say is that I did try. I tried a lot. Sometimes I tried more and though I sometimes tried less, the success of this year is to be found in the fact that I tried.
What did I actually try to do? A lot, now that I think about it. This year, I took a lot of walks. This year, I ate a lot of food. Sometimes it was a struggle bus based on whatever was available but I ate. This year, I told more people “I love you” on a daily basis than I think I ever have. This year, I totally impulse-bought another cow and I freaking love Octavia so much. This year, I let my kids’ school look a lot more like novels and boardgames and long walks in the woods. This year, I watched over the internet as a book that I worked on cooperatively took shape and ended up being EXACTLY what the world needed because we all need a retreat and can’t have one. I wrote deeply emotionally and exposed my vulnerability more fully in my farm memoir than I imagined possible. This year, I remotely worked on a conference that was a remote conference and a ton of women showed up and we accomplished some real connection in a virtual world.
This year, I can only say that I tried. I tried pretty hard. This year, I accomplished so little but that ended up being a lot of work and it was worth every minute of it. This year was good.
Friday, November 27, 2020
Old Calendar Nativity Group for Nativity 2020
Last year, I organized an Old Calendar schedule for the Psalter and I was so grateful for everyone who participated. I knew I wanted to do it again this year, even before I started getting messages. Because I wanted to make this as easy for people as possible so more people could participate and could start whenever they can, I am assigning groups based on the alphabet. You don’t need me to sign you up, you just need to open your Psalter! I know that I would love to pray for you so it would be great if you just list your baptismal name below but if you don’t, that is fine, too. If you are not Orthodox or come from a tradition without baptismal names, that’s fine, I still want to pray for you. Just know that it is not an obligation to list your name below. If you have a specific need you would like prayed for, you can list it or message it to me. You can be discreet with private intentions and just list them as a private need. I will take that list and regularly update a Google Doc with everyone’s names and needs and you can access it.
I can’t think of a year when I felt more dependant on God than this one so I am leaning hard into prayer. Let’s do this! Want to print the schedule? Click HERE!
Welcome to the Psalter Group! Find your initial and start with the Kathisma according to the group you are in . There is a schedule | |||||||
for all groups just below. If you know someone who wants to pray with us this fast, please let them know that they can start at anytime! | |||||||
You can use any Psalter or a Bible with the Psalms, whatever you happen to have. Follow the link to see how the Psalter is organized. | |||||||
Group One | Names that Begin with A | ||||||
Group Two | Names that Begin with B | ||||||
Group Three | Names that Begin with C | ||||||
Group Four | Names that Begin with D | ||||||
Group Five | Names that Begin with E | ||||||
Group Six | Names that Begin with F | ||||||
Group Seven | Names that Begin with G | ||||||
Group Eight | Names that Begin with H | ||||||
Group Nine | Names that Begin with I | ||||||
Group Ten | Names that Begin with J | ||||||
Group Eleven | Names that Begin with K | ||||||
Group Twelve | Names that Begin with L | ||||||
Group Thirteen | Names that Begin with M | ||||||
Group Fourteen | Names that Begin with N | ||||||
Group Fifteen | Names that Begin with O | ||||||
Group Sixteen | Names that Begin with P | ||||||
Group Seventeen | Names that Begin with Q or R | ||||||
Group Eighteen | Names that Begin with S or T | ||||||
Group Nineteen | Names that Begin with U, V, or W | ||||||
Group Twenty | Names that Begin with X, Y, or Z | ||||||
Group One | Names that Begin with A | ||||||
Saturday | Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | |
11/28-12/4 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
12/5-12/11 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |
12/12-12/18 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 1 |
12/19-12-25 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |
12/26-1/1 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
1/2-1/6 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | Nativity | |
Group Two | Names that Begin with B | ||||||
Saturday | Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | |
11/28-12/4 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |
12/5-12/11 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
12/12-12/18 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 1 | 2 |
12/19-12-25 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 |
12/26-1/1 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 |
1/2-1/6 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 1 | Nativity | |
Group Three | Names that Begin with C | ||||||
Saturday | Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | |
11/28-12/4 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 |
12/5-12/11 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 |
12/12-12/18 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 1 | 2 | 3 |
12/19-12-25 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
12/26-1/1 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
1/2-1/6 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 1 | 2 | Nativity | |
Group Four | Names that Begin with D | ||||||
Saturday | Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | |
11/28-12/4 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
12/5-12/11 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
12/12-12/18 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |
12/19-12-25 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
12/26-1/1 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |
1/2-1/6 | 19 | 20 | 1 | 2 | 3 | Nativity | |
Group Five | Names that Begin with E | ||||||
Saturday | Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | |
11/28-12/4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
12/5-12/11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |
12/12-12/18 | 19 | 20 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
12/19-12-25 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
12/26-1/1 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 |
1/2-1/6 | 20 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | Nativity | |
Group Six | Names that Begin with F | ||||||
Saturday | Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | |
11/28-12/4 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
12/5-12/11 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 |
12/12-12/18 | 20 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
12/19-12-25 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 |
12/26-1/1 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 |
1/2-1/6 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Nativity | |
Group Seven | Names that Begin with G | ||||||
Saturday | Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | |
11/28-12/4 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 |
12/5-12/11 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 |
12/12-12/18 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
12/19-12-25 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |
12/26-1/1 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 1 |
1/2-1/6 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Nativity | |
Group Eight | Names that Begin with H | ||||||
Saturday | Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | |
11/28-12/4 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |
12/5-12/11 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 1 |
12/12-12/18 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |
12/19-12-25 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
12/26-1/1 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 1 | 2 |
1/2-1/6 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Nativity | |
Group Nine | Names that Begin with I | ||||||
Saturday | Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | |
11/28-12/4 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
12/5-12/11 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 1 | 2 |
12/12-12/18 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 |
12/19-12-25 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 |
12/26-1/1 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 1 | 2 | 3 |
1/2-1/6 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Nativity | |
Group Ten | Names that Begin with J | ||||||
Saturday | Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | |
11/28-12/4 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 |
12/5-12/11 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 1 | 2 | 3 |
12/12-12/18 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
12/19-12-25 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
12/26-1/1 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |
1/2-1/6 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Nativity | |
Group Eleven | Names that Begin with K | ||||||
Saturday | Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | |
11/28-12/4 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
12/5-12/11 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |
12/12-12/18 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
12/19-12-25 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |
12/26-1/1 | 19 | 20 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
1/2-1/6 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Nativity | |
Group Twelve | Names that Begin with L | ||||||
Saturday | Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | |
11/28-12/4 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |
12/5-12/11 | 19 | 20 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
12/12-12/18 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
12/19-12-25 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 |
12/26-1/1 | 20 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
1/2-1/6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Nativity | |
Group Thirteen | Names that Begin with M | ||||||
Saturday | Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | |
11/28-12/4 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 |
12/5-12/11 | 20 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
12/12-12/18 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 |
12/19-12-25 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 |
12/26-1/1 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
1/2-1/6 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | Nativity | |
Group Fourteen | Names that Begin with N | ||||||
Saturday | Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | |
11/28-12/4 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 |
12/5-12/11 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
12/12-12/18 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |
12/19-12-25 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 1 |
12/26-1/1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |
1/2-1/6 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | Nativity | |
Group Fifteen | Names that Begin with O | ||||||
Saturday | Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | |
11/28-12/4 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 1 |
12/5-12/11 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |
12/12-12/18 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
12/19-12-25 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 1 | 2 |
12/26-1/1 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 |
1/2-1/6 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | Nativity | |
Group Sixteen | Names that Begin with P | ||||||
Saturday | Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | |
11/28-12/4 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 1 | 2 |
12/5-12/11 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 |
12/12-12/18 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 |
12/19-12-25 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 1 | 2 | 3 |
12/26-1/1 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
1/2-1/6 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Nativity | |
Group Seventeen | Names that Begin with Q or R | ||||||
Saturday | Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | |
11/28-12/4 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 1 | 2 | 3 |
12/5-12/11 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
12/12-12/18 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
12/19-12-25 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |
12/26-1/1 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
1/2-1/6 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | Nativity | |
Group Eighteen | Names that Begin with S or T | ||||||
Saturday | Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | |
11/28-12/4 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |
12/5-12/11 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
12/12-12/18 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |
12/19-12-25 | 19 | 20 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
12/26-1/1 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
1/2-1/6 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | Nativity | |
Group Nineteen | Names that Begin with U, V, or W | ||||||
Saturday | Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | |
11/28-12/4 | 19 | 20 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
12/5-12/11 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
12/12-12/18 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 |
12/19-12-25 | 20 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
12/26-1/1 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 |
1/2-1/6 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Nativity | |
Group Twenty | Names that Begin with X, Y, or Z | ||||||
Saturday | Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | |
11/28-12/4 | 20 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
12/5-12/11 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 |
12/12-12/18 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 |
12/19-12-25 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
12/26-1/1 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |
1/2-1/6 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | Nativity |